the end

end of stay orientation in indonesia at the beach- amazing. a time to reflect on the year, relax with jillian josh and omar, as well as some of our afs volunteer friends. a bit sad though, to realize everything was so so close to ending.

so many people were at the airport when we left. we took so many pictures with friends and family and everyone felt sad but the breaking point was pushed when we started to go through security and all the afs volunteers started to sing leaving on a jet plane. me and jillian cried so hard. that sadness didn't last long though because immediately we found out malaysia airlines was super strict about bags being exactly 20 kilos, not even 1 kilo over was ok. well we were all about 8 kilos over so we opened up our suitcases and started throwing things out. clothes, shoes, books, heavy stuff. we'd hold something up and say 'am i ever going to wear this again? no! its heavy!' it was stressful because we had so much to ditch and it kept being over no matter what and the whole time we could hear them announcing the boarding for our flight. so we tried to go through immigration as a big group but they wouldn't let us so we waited in the long line and as soon as you were through you'd run through the airport to your gate. on that walk though, after getting through immigration, sadness came back. how could i possibly leave that beautiful land? the first flight to kuala lumpur was a somber one. we talked of our regrets mostly, all the things we really should have and definitely could have done better. on the next plane, the one going to london, we met up with the YES kids from malaysia. so weird to see them haha. when we finally got off the plane in dc, jillian looked around and said 'the people here are so colorful!' indeed they are. lots of the orientation there was spent looking at all the people and wondering where ones who weren't white came from and marveling at how clean everything was. all the kids looked so different. it was so fun to see them though and to hear about these foreign and magical lands everyone was in. the last day there was hard though. josh and jillian were in the first batch of kids to go to the airport. our little group being split apart until who knows when. i was a mess. me and justine just stood there, holding each other and crying as the airport shuttle took them away. on our flight back to salt lake, me and amber got to talk a lot. we were both anxious to go home and didn't really want to. descending into salt lake was pretty stressful. i just didn't know how to deal with it. our families were waiting for us with signs and balloons. my sisters were so weird, being so loud and acting like fools. i was pretty shell shocked for about a week. america didn't feel like it was home. it felt like i was a foreigner, an indonesian, merely vacationing in america.

i've been home over a month now. things are basically normal, it almost feels like i never left. but there are still unexpected things that throw me off. like how big everything is, how much things people here think they need. re learning social cues with my friends. i miss indonesia so much. i miss the humid heat, my host family, my friends. seeing street vendors everywhere. the dirtiness of the crowded city. everything really. i'm learning how to adjust and be an american again, but keeping indonesia with me at the same time. its a weird balance that you kind of just have to feel your way through. i am happy to be with my real family again but still a bit lost. this will probably be my last post on this blog. thanks to you all who followed my adventures via this blog. thanks to my family. this would have been impossible without you. thanks to jillian, josh, and omar. you are all amazing. thanks to all the other kids on yes abroad this year, for sharing experiences and being friends i will never forget. thanks to the other afs kids in indonesia. thanks to afs, both indonesia and america. thank you for giving me this opportunity.  thanks to  my host family. aku sangat sayang sama kalian.

thanks for it all.
dadah :)